Scoops is 10 Months

Although my hormones have been souring my experience of life in general recently, I am still joyfully, albeit bittersweetly, in awe of how quickly my little Scoops has grown. She is 10 months old today. In honor of my need for rest, I'll keep this post as short as possible.

She has two teeth. The first popped out a few weeks ago, and the second just pushed its first corner through last night. 

Her hair has grown in thicker and blonder, with a delicious strawberry tint (I always wanted a ginger baby!).

Her eyes are a beautiful, mysterious blue, dark around the outside, deep and watery in the middle, with the thinnest hint of a sea green ring in the center of all that blue. A friend recently remarked that Scoops' eyes look like the ocean. Their depth is appropriate, as she continues to lock willing victims in her fervent gaze as she peers into their souls (or something dramatic like that).

She is still petite, but she has certainly grown taller. I notice when I lay her down in her crib at night how much more of it she fills. She used to look so tiny, as if she could get lost in her crib. Now she spreads out when she lays down to sleep and takes up about half her crib space with her lanky limbs. She is quite tiny, and we've been monitoring her weight gain to make sure nothing is the matter. She's usually quite cheerful though, and incredibly strong (people who hold her all agree on this point), so I'm of the opinion that she's getting plenty to eat, she's just burning it all off rapidly because she's a spazz.

Speaking of eating, she has started joining us at the table for 3 meals a day for about the past month. She enjoys feeding herself chunks of veggies and fruits (especially black beans!) and has tried carrots, sweet potato, avocado, egg yolk, zucchini, yellow squash, oatmeal, and plum. She's still very fond of breastfeeding, however, and continues to wish I would never wear a shirt. We've added small amounts of water and diluted prune juice to her diet here and there as well, and she's beginning to get the hang of her sippy cup.

She keeps adding fun new skills to her repertoire. A couple weeks ago she began really clapping her hands regularly and exuberantly to show joy or satisfaction. Then she started pointing, folding up her other fingers and just pointing with her index finger. Now she's picked up on our hand washing lessons, and proudly rubs her hands together with a great big smile when I say, "Show me how you wash your hands!" She's been pulling herself up to standing since last month, but last week I caught her standing all on her own, without holding on to anything. She did it right in front of me as I was sitting on the floor talking with a friend, and I'm not sure whether she pulled herself up on my legs (probably) and then let go and stood, or if she just stood straight up from sitting. Either way, I was so caught off guard that I think my excited reaction startled her into sitting down again. I haven't been able to get her to repeat the stunt, but I'm sure she will soon and often. Just another harbinger of the walking to come!

She says words. Real words. I'm crying as I write this, because it means my little baby is growing up. Oh, the paradox of motherhood! We want them to grow into self-sufficient people, but we don't want to lose our babies. But I digress. A couple of weeks ago she was sitting on the potty and heard a dog barking. She looked in the direction of the sound and thoughtfully, quietly said, "dolg." Then she looked me right in the eyes as the dog continued to bark and said definitively, "dog." Actually, to be fair, it looked and sounded like she was saying "doldg," which was one of the cutest things I've ever seen to watch her little mouth and tongue try to catch up with her brain. This morning she heard our neighbors get in their car and start the engine, and she announced, "cahr." She's been saying mama/mommy for a while, and added in dada/daddy a couple months ago, but now she's using non-parental words. It sounds like she's trying to say Opie, our dog's name, too. We just keep encouraging her and going with it whenever we hear her say anything that resembles an appropriate word, like "OK," "yeah," or "grandma," for example.

She climbs up the stairs, fast as anything, when I set her at the bottom (don't worry, I follow closely behind her). She loves to crawl out of the nursery and into mommy and daddy's room. As we chase her and playfully say "I'm gonna get you!" she giggles like it's the funniest thing ever. She loves to play with her reflection in the mirror in the master bedroom, loves to smile at herself in the bathroom mirror, absolutely loves to brush her teeth every morning and evening (she actually gets very upset sometimes when we take the toothbrush away to go have breakfast or bedtime). 

She sits on the potty every morning when she wakes up, after naps, and every evening before bed. We try to stay attuned to her signals and take her at other times during the day if we sense she needs to go. We're working on learning the signs for "potty" etc so we can communicate better about this. She's at the point now where she really doesn't like to go poop in her diaper. Pee doesn't seem to bother her much, but she will fuss about poop until we set her on the toilet so she can go like a big girl. I didn't really set out to potty train my infant, just to give her another option besides the diaper, but it seems to be working well for her!

Possibly my favorite little game of hers, which she started last month, I think, but continues to do still, is her imitation our playful nibbling kisses. She grabs our faces in her hands, opens her mouth wide, and latches both lips and gums onto a cheek, chin, forehead, or nose, all while making an "ahhh" noise to (I suppose) imitate our "nom nom nom" sounds when we kiss her like we're gobbling her up. I see her processing and trying to imitate lots of our sounds and behaviors now, which makes me increasingly aware of the fact that I need to curb my language and behave as I want her to behave. 

Although she no longer likes to be held "like a baby" unless she's falling asleep, she is still my baby. I will not get ahead of myself, and I will treasure her just as she is, as little as she is, for as long as I can. I will take the good days with the bad. I will pray daily for patience, wisdom, and a massive change of heart to make me into a woman my child will be proud to emulate. Mostly, I will love my daughter, my husband, and myself. And that is enough for now.

Gloriously Imperfect

Hi there! I've been away for a while, I know. I'll admit it: I've been scared. And overwhelmed. I feel like I'm in a rut. I don't know which way I'm going, I don't know why I should bother writing, I'm afraid I'll have to go back to a desk job soon... All of these negative thoughts are just eating away at me, and when I know this blog is still in its infancy it's just so easy to say "Who cares? No one will notice if I don't write for a month." Really, while this blog is in its infancy I should be cranking out a minimum of 2 posts per week and doing everything I can to gain more readers. But I'm tired! And I feel like there's no point. I don't mean that to sound ungrateful to the readers I do have, but while I appreciate the loyal friends and family who pay attention to my tiny corner of the interwebs, I have no grand delusions about the size of my current audience.

I started this blog to share my normalcy with everyone; to celebrate when I accomplish something of which I can be proud; to share fun little projects or recipes I've created or tried, life hacks or products that have made my days easier; but mostly to show other new parents that it's OK to not be perfect. You could say my mission is "to illuminate the glorious imperfections of parenting." Allow me to illuminate my current imperfections for you now.

I'm just so overwhelmed at present. I feel kind of miserable (not every minute of the day, but often), like my whole life is off track. I wanted this baby so very badly, and I still do, of course. It's just mind boggling to me that I could have wanted her so badly, that I could love her so incredibly much, and still somehow find I have less and less patience for her whining and screaming than I did at 3 months. Does that make me a bad parent? This is all I wanted. This is all I've ever wanted: to stay home and raise a baby! So why does it feel so completely dissatisfying at times? At almost 10 months postpartum I've finally had thoughts of going back to work, for no other reason than to get a daily break from my sweet, whining baby. But then I get terrified about having to report to a job on time, because it takes me 3 hours to get anywhere these days. (Literally, it took me 3 hours to get to a play date today.) Aside from that, I'm virtually useless because I'm so sleep deprived I can hardly keep my eyes open. So I go to bed early, and then Scoops wakes up multiple times during the night (Teething? Growth spurt? Who gives a rip? It all translates to less sleep) and I feel more exhausted the next day than I did when I was staying up until midnight trying to get shit done. Besides, I don't really want to go back to a "real job" anyway, because in my heart of hearts I know I want to stay with Scoops all day. But then she's trying to pick that little mole I didn't even know I had off my neck again while she's supposed to be nursing, and I swear I just need a friggin' break!

This is the constant cycle of my thoughts these days. I love love LOVE my sweet baby girl to the ends of the Earth, but when her naps last exactly long enough for me pee and wash up her mess from whatever meal she had immediately prior to naptime, and then do it all over again, I start to feel frustrated. I feel mundane, and I feel like if my life is so routine and mundane, then why do I seem incapable of mastering an actual routine? I literally can't remember the last time I cleaned my floors, and I'd really love to clean my floors (especially since the dog just yacked next to my feet, probably from eating all the bits of food Scoops has been throwing at him). But it's not really fair to try to remember something that goes back possibly longer than 2 weeks in time, because I can't even remember what I wore today. If I had the available brain cells to count right now, I'd be able to count on less than one hand the number of times Scoops has slept through the night in the past 2 months. This is especially drastic considering that she started sleeping through the night at 4 months, and seemed to be on a trend toward making that a regular habit. Apparently appropriate to her age (Babycenter? Mom365? Kellymom? I can't remember where I read this tidbit), she is now back to "sleeping like a newborn," which has me feeling constantly exhausted, to put it lightly.

I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining. I'm not complaining. Maybe I am, I don't actually know. I think I'm just putting out there to the mom-verse that I'm having a really weak moment right now. "Right now" here having the meaning of the past hmmmmmm 6 weeks at least. And I'm hoping I'm not alone in this. And I'm hoping that someday I'll get to the other side of this with relative clarity and be able to write about what wonderful, gilded lessons I learned during this time about raising a child. Maybe I'll be able to offer hope to the next troubled mom (or dad). Right now, I'm just wallowing. Or something like that. Right now, I am basking in the glorious imperfections of parenting, and I have to be honest: it doesn't feel much like basking, and it doesn't feel anything close to glorious. If you're here with me, I love you, and I'm sending you all the comforting hugs I wish I could give myself right now. In fact, the least I can do for myself is refuse to believe I'm alone in this. So I won't. I know you're out there, sister-mamas, and I will comfort myself in the knowledge that I'm walking the path of our foremothers, and I'm walking it alongside you. We're in this together. Let's hit the park, or the pool, or shoot, the grocery store, I don't care. But let's get out of the house, sans makeup and in our sweats if we have to, so we can get a breath of (relatively) fresh air and support each other in our journeys.

And now, with a big THANK YOU to my mama friends who've figuratively met me where I'm at, and literally met me at the park and the pool, I bid you all good-night and wish you a restful and restorative evening. I'm going to bed. It is midnight again, after all.

Scoops is 9 Months

I feel like every one of these monthly updates could start with the phrase "I can't believe my sweet Scoops is ___ old already!" Regardless of my faith or disbelief, the baby I birthed is, in fact, 9 months old. As evidenced by the photo, you can see that she is now clearly standing (while holding on to something) without any issue. Often now when I go to rescue her from not napping, I find her standing in her crib, clutching the bars and probably teething on them. No, she still has not popped out any teeth, but she certainly has two coming. I can see the elusive little bastards hovering just below the surface of her bottom gum, coyly taunting us all with their modesty. Come out already, teeth! Give us some peace from all this anticipation! It's been 2 months, for crap's sake!

Her eyes are still blue, and at this point I'm pretty well convinced they're not changing. I'd love it if she got my green eyes, but as I've mentioned before, those baby blues are so captivatingly beautiful that I truly don't care. Her hair is blonde and stick straight, just like mine was as a baby. I'm sure it'll curl when she gets older though. Seems to be inevitable since both her parents rock curls! She is still a tiny little thing, just hanging out in the ol' first percentile. I'm banking on her staying in size 2 diapers until after she turns a year old. I'm not complaining, because she's certainly easier to carry than a lot of babies we know. Plus, we're getting excellent use out of all her 6-month size clothing.

Some fun things Scoops can do now:

• Say "Dada" (finally!)
• Make a silly noise with her lips when we strum them with a finger (Daddy started this, and when I tried it last week Scoops smiled after making the noise and clearly said, "da da!")
• Break landspeed records with her adept crawling skills
• Speed walk while holding someone's hands
• Clap her hands
• Wave hi and bye-bye
• Pull mommy's shirt down for quick-access feeding. Like, whenever/wherever.

She has recently discovered her belly button, and is fascinated by it. She also finds mine intriguing, and seems to be under the impression that it is a third and non-functional nipple (she keeps giving it a try, though!). Fingers are also amazing now. She gets focused on one thing, like another finger, and slowly brings her pointer finger to touch it (if it's near her face she usually goes cross-eyed while doing this). Sometimes she unknowingly plays ET and slowly, deliberately touches the tip of her finger to mine. Lately she's been studying my sadly ragged, unpolished fingernails, too. Fantastic. When she's really excited she squinches her face and smiles so big that her nose wrinkles and her eyes practically close. Sometimes that face is accompanied by a high-pitched squeal. She's starting to find it amusing when we pat her back or tummy while she's making a sustained noise, so that her voice goes all "bouncy" or warble-y. We've been trying to get her to do this trick for months now, but she used to stop every time we starting patting her. Then one day we're driving on an uneven road and bam: she suddenly gets it. She's been sitting on the potty every morning and evening, and sometimes throughout the day, and gets visibly proud of herself when she uses it as intended. I mean she smiles and squeals and claps her hands. I call that pride in one's accomplishments.

A friend just asked me today whether life is easier or harder now that Scoops is 9 months old. It's really a little bit of both. Some things are easier and some are harder. I definitely can't just set her down on my bed and walk away, but she can reach up and grab hold of me when I pick her up. She doesn't generally like to be held "like a baby" in a reclined position anymore, but she holds on pretty securely when I carry her around on my hip. I'm starting to really experience what my mom told me she experienced while raising her babies: each stage brings new joys and milestones, so that the sweetness of watching my baby develop really does outweigh the bitterness of seeing her grow into less of a baby. Seeing her experience life, each little micro-discovery at a time, makes me appreciate the many things I (and most adults I know) have come to take for granted. As Scoops discovers her universe, I feel like I'm rediscovering mine. Every day brings something new and different to experience and enjoy, and I can't imagine a better way to spend my days.

Scoops is 8 Months (and then some)

Scoops turned 8 months old over 2 weeks ago, so I guess it's time for me to write about her 8 month milestones. Can you tell I'm having a hard time figuring out when to write? If only I could get Scoops to poop on a schedule, I could actually schedule in writing time. But enough about my epic procrastination, let's talk about my cute kid.

The day she reached 8 months of age, Scoops figured out real honest-to-God hands-and-knees crawling and how to pull herself up to standing. At the same time. It was bedtime. Which was subsequently delayed by one hour so we could lower the crib mattress, but I'm not complaining. She mastered these excitingly dangerous skills in front of us, while we were taking photos for her 8 months, so we got to actually see them happen, catch them on "film," and prevent a terrible I-just-figured-out-how-to-crawl-out-of-my-crib-in-the-middle-of-the-night accident. If you're thinking to yourself that I should have lowered the crib mattress a long time ago, you're right. I put it off as long as I did because 1) my back is frequently stiff and sore, and I've been afraid that lowering the crib mattress would make it hurt worse (but it hasn't so far), and 2) I had heard or read somewhere that you're supposed to lower the crib mattress when your baby can push herself up to sitting. Scoops did that several days after turning 8 months, so clearly that wasn't a helpful guideline.

Aside from crawling and pulling up to stand, at 8 months Scoops loves to careen around the house in her walker, or while holding onto our hands. She is still the tiniest kid her age we know (first percentile!), but she is strong, both in body and will. On weekend mornings she lays in bed with us and pretends we are her personal jungle gym. She babbles and sings when the mood strikes her, but loves to stare uncomfortably (especially when meeting new people) as if she's reading your soul. Speaking of singing, she is learning to imitate sounds, like when we sing or hum 3 or 4 notes. I'm not saying she can match pitch, but she very obviously attempts to make the same sounds in the same order. She is learning to blow raspberries, and, probably because we've been blowing them on her belly since she was born, is starting to blow them on us, too. This is most amusing when she tries it in the middle of breastfeeding. And speaking of breastfeeding, Scoops is training for the Olympic Breastfeeding Acrobatics team. She has a few poses she hasn't quite mastered yet, but her repertoire includes several impressive inversions, many of which are typically accompanied by humming. Or blowing raspberries.

Her smile is infectious. Her eyes are still a piercing deep blue, with a lighter ring (that looks almost greenish to me) right in the center. Her hair is the thickest it's ever been, but still feathery and sandy blonde. Her hands and fingers look so much bigger to me, and they are always grabbing at my face, especially while she nurses. She is working on her pincer grasp, as well as pointing, and loves to take breaks in the middle of nursing to study (with her pointer finger) the thing that squirts out milk for her. Her expressions are varied and often hilarious, and I can tell she's going to have a humorous, sassy personality. I'm still home with her full time, and immensely grateful for every day I get to spend with her. Even on the hard days (and there are hard days), by the time I put her to bed I realize how much I'll miss her once she's asleep, and how lucky I am to spend my days with her. I wouldn't trade my life for any other.

Scoops' 1st Camping Trip

If you look closely, you can see a sleeping
baby under that rain-soaked jacket!

Another milestone has been met: we recently took Scoops on her very first camping trip! Really, I should call it "glamping" because we were in my late grandparents' old VW Vanagon, and in my mind any kind of camping that doesn't involve the campers setting up a tent is definitely more glamorous. Also, we had panoramic ocean views, so that's pretty bougey. I figured I'd probably lose my mind trying to camp with an infant in a tent, so I was grateful to my uncle (the van's current owner) for loaning the van to us. In the end, it rained most of the time we were camping, and I mean it rained like I wish it would have all winter long, so the van was pretty necessary or we would have bailed before we even got to the camp site. As it was, we spent the majority of the first day, which was the rainiest, sitting in the van watching and listening to the rain fall all around us. 

Following my own terrible advice from my How to Take Your Baby to the Beach post, I pretty much failed to plan ahead for this trip. It was a very last minute decision, and packing up and leaving last minute for anything with an infant is challenging, let alone 2 nights away from home, never mind 2 nights away from home in a camper van. I realized when we arrived and set up camp that I'd forgotten to pack a book to read, or even a deck of cards to keep us amused. Fortunately, I remembered the baby. She was pretty entertaining. We also brought our dog, who was content at least to be with us rather than alone at the house, but wasn't fond of the rain. Or camping in general, from what I could tell. All four of us cuddled close in that relatively small space made me glad, once again, that we have a very small dog. Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that we didn't need to be entertained. We get plenty of mental stimulation when we're at home, so while we were camping it was nice to just sit and be. It was nice to have little choice but to simply sit and be, actually. We listened to the rain, we talked and cuddled with each other, we napped (oh, the naps!), we watched the waves crash on the shore. Oh, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't take advantage of the park's WiFi a little while we were there, but I kept that to a minimum and would have been fine without it, honestly. (I may have been browsing vintage trailers for sale.)

The Pack 'n' Play was necessary for everyone's sleeping (and lounging) contentment.

Surprisingly, Scoops slept great both nights we were there. We set up her pack 'n' play on the floor of the van (after removing the rear-facing passenger seat and stashing it upside-down in the driver's seat), and my husband and I slept on the fold out bed in the back. It would have been fun to use the pop up tent on the roof, but the rain made that pretty impossible. Getting Scoops to fall asleep was our biggest challenge. It was colder at our campsite, even in a solid van, than her nursery usually is, and we still follow the recommended guidelines of no loose blankets in her sleeping area. We layered on two pairs of fleece pajamas and a hat, and that seemed to keep her pretty warm. After the first night though, she woke up with icy cold legs, so the second night I put my own fleece socks over her legs, and wrapped her mattress tightly with a thick, warm cable knit blanket. That did the trick! She was a perfectly normal temperature all over when she woke up the second morning. We also packed our white noise machine, which helped us all sleep better since our camping neighbors were a large and boisterous group of teenage boys (man, do I sound like an old lady). Like I said, getting Scoops to fall asleep was our biggest challenge, but once she was out she slept better than she had been sleeping at home. Actually, so did I and my husband. We slept well at night, and since the rain kept us indoors much of the time, we napped a lot during the day, too. It was so relaxing, and such a great chance to catch up on sleep without the nagging thought of laundry, or cleaning, or housework or whatever was left behind at home.

Now, where did we go? Any guesses? We went to the new Moro Campground at Crystal Cove State Beach. If you have the opportunity to camp here, snatch it up like you'll never see that opportunity again. Despite fervent research efforts, I can't seem to figure out exactly when this campground opened, but I can tell you it's only about a year, maybe 2, old. The bathrooms are pristine. There are single stall enclosed shower rooms, and they're clean. The campsites are immaculate and each one has a stunning ocean view. The entire campground is on tiered loops, so the sites on the bottom tier (Dolphin Circle) have the best views, but really you can't complain about the view from any of these campsites. Keep in mind, when you camp here you're not technically on the beach. You're up on a bluff, across PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) from the beach. To get to the beach, you have to walk down a sizeable hill (paved road) and through a tunnel that runs under PCH. Not too strenuous if you're averagely active. Getting there is easy, it's coming back up the hill that might make you catch your breath. There are beautiful and easy nature trails at the bottom of this same hill, and lots of learning stations that would probably be great at keeping older kids entertained (I enjoyed them). 

Dogs are allowed at this campground... but not much outside the actual camp site!

Keep in mind, if you take your dog with you, he is sadly not allowed on the dirt trails (which we unfortunately didn't realize until we'd walked about half of them... signage at all entrance points would be helpful). Dogs are also not allowed on the beach, and you can't just tie them up and leave them at your campsite. So, if you bring your dog, you'll be pretty much limited to your campsite and any paved roads (which are few). If you don't bring a dog, there are miles of beaches and backcountry trails to explore. You can also walk the historic district and check out the cool old homes (which are available for overnight rental, and many are actually right on the beach!) and dine at The Beachcomber. All of Crystal Cove is really a fun, historic place, and worth checking out even for just a day trip.

In order to make your camping trip the most successful, baby in tow or not, here are the must-have items I forgot to pack (don't make the same mistake!):

1. Soap
Those bathrooms and showers are clean, but they are not equipped with soap. Even if you're not showering, washing your hands with soap is way more effective than just using hand sanitizer the whole time. This should be a total "duh" point, but I haven't camped in a while and bringing soap totally slipped my mind. (No pun intended, I swear.)

2. Towels
See above. 

3. Compressed gas stove
We did not realize until we got there that open fires are not allowed at this park. It makes sense, really. The whole state is dry with this drought we've been stuck in, but this region in particular is always pretty dry. The Vanagon has a stove, yes, but it hasn't been used in years, and we didn't bother to fill up the propane tank before we left because we wanted to enjoy an open fire anyway. Ultimately, we drove down to the local shopping center the first night we were there and picked up tacos from Bear Flag. A great decision, actually, because those tacos are the bomb (oh, I said it). The rest of the time, we relied on dry or cold stuff from the grocery store that we had packed (muffins, hummus and chips, bananas, baby carrots, wrap sandwiches). It worked, but it wasn't ideal. I would have preferred to cook something hot for dinner if we'd had the ability.

And now for the must-have items I actually did think to pack, and that made camping with a baby ever so much easier:

1. Baby
You can't camp with a baby if you don't bring the baby.

2. Diapers
Cloth or disposable, whatever your thing is, bring a crap load of 'em (pun intended). I packed an entire box of size 2's, which is like, 80 friggin' diapers. Did I use them all? No. Was I glad I had them. You bet your ass I was.

3. Wipes
See above.

4. Play Yard
I was not confident in our ability to effectively co-sleep while camping, in a bed space that was not our usual bed, so for me a Pack 'n' Play was extremely necessary. Aside from providing a safe space for Scoops to sleep, it also gave her a safe space to sit, scoot, and play. This was more useful than I even thought it would be. If you're tent camping and don't have room for a play yard, I'm sure it's not actually necessary, especially if you're a co-sleeping pro (or if you have a small portable baby bed like one of those pod things). If you have the space, though, I vote for the Pack 'n' Play.

5. Snacks
It's amazing how much I eat when I'm not at home. Actually, it's amazing how much more I taste my food when I'm not at home.

6. Journal
If you don't journal, now's a good time to start. Sitting in the quiet of nature has a way of inspiring introspection, and journals are a great way to capture the fruits of that introspection. Even if you just use it to note the basic highlights of baby's first camping trip, my guess is you'll be glad you brought the journal.

7. Pillows
And sheets, if you're feeling ambitious. Dressing a full bed (air mattress, sheets, pillows and cases) is something I've been doing on most of my camping trips for the past couple of years (thanks, Sunset Magazine, for inspiring me to be an overachiever). It's one of those things that is so unnecessary, but can make a big difference in your enjoyment of the trip. I highly recommend this tactic to anyone who is not really fond of camping. Just use old sheets, preferably not white ones, that you don't mind getting dirty. Even if you'd prefer the simplicity of a good old fashioned sleeping bag, you'll probably still want a pillow. Bonus: if you're breastfeeding, you can use the pillow to prop baby on your lap during feedings (leave the nursing pillow at home!).

Avoid the drama: pack a teething toy.

8. Baby's favorite toy(s)
Pick 1-3 small toys that your child loves, that are always comforting. You're going to be in a new place, with new smells and sounds, and it might be hard for baby to adjust. Having a few favorite things from home will probably help baby feel more at ease.

9. White noise machine
Similar to the toys, and especially if this is something you use regularly at home, this is one item that will greatly help baby's new environment to feel more familiar. Just make sure you've got backup batteries!

10. Layers of warm clothing
For you and baby. Wherever you are in the US, it probably gets cold at night. At least for a baby. Bring warm layers, and add them as needed. If you don't need them, don't use them, but if you do need them, you (and baby) will be very glad you packed them!

So there you have it. Our first camping trip with a baby was a success, and we're looking forward to trying it again soon. The next adventure will be using a tent instead of a camper van! (And just to be clear, in the photo above, Scoops is crying not because she wasn't enjoying camping, but because she was royally pissed that we wouldn't let her eat the bubble level off the side of her car seat. Gotta have boundaries, mommies.)

Have you camped with an infant? How did it go? What made the trip successful (or not)?

Hell Hath No Fury Like the Stomach Flu

I had all these great posts planned for last week, and then I got my ass behind handed to me by the stomach flu. So now I'm writing about that instead! I swear I've never been sick like that before. It was wretched. My husband, who bore helpless witness to the whole 8 hour projectile ordeal, even said it was like watching me go through labor again. He actually insisted that if I didn't stop throwing up by X time he'd be taking me to the ER. I'll admit, I felt like I was in labor, except there was no cute, squishy newborn at the end of it. (On second thought, maybe I'm ok with that.) The worst of it happened overnight and was quelled by the next morning, but it's taken an entire week for me to feel back to (basically) normal again. It was one of those instances that had me marvelling at the super-human powers of single moms and people who don't have family nearby. I honestly can't imagine having to go through that all on my own, let alone having to take care of Scoops on my own while feeling that way.

I was so terrified my husband was going to catch it and I'd have to take care of him before I felt fully recovered, or, worse, that Scoops would catch it. She still hasn't really been sick yet, and I just don't think I'm prepared to see her caught in the throes of uncontrolled vomiting. Obviously it's probably going to happen at some point, but I'm hoping we can hold off on it until she's older and can support herself over a puke-vessel. Fortunately, I was the only person in my household to contract this round of the heinous virus (or whatever it was). And despite my avid fears of passing my germs to Scoops, I insisted on feeding her myself as soon as the puking had stopped (so that time she woke up around 3 a.m. just as I was getting ready to hurl meant Daddy had bottle duty so I could yak into the trash can in peace). Feeding her, germs and all, turned out to be a great decision, both for the antibodies she received and for the maintenance of my dwindling milk supply.

Bear in mind, my supply has never been remarkable. I know I produce enough to feed Scoops at the tap, because she always behaves full and satisfied, she produces an appropriate amount of wet and dirty diapers, and she's hitting all her developmental milestones on time. But when I pump, I don't get impressive amounts. Sometimes it takes me a few sessions just to get a full bottle's worth of milk. Since I am lucky enough to be home with Scoops full time, this doesn't bother me. I just breastfeed when she's hungry, and try not to worry about the freezer stash. But aside from a direct response to demand, anyone with basic knowledge of the science of breastfeeding will tell you that your supply is dependent upon what goes into your body. In other words, if you're not eating enough healthy calories and drinking enough healthy liquids, your supply will likely not be as robust as it could be. So it stands to reason that an all-nighter spent yaking your guts out and voiding your bowels would not only deplete your body of what it needs to basically function (hence the shakes and an inability to walk to the bathroom unassisted), it'll also cause your milk supply to drop. This was the first time, in over 7 months of breastfeeding, that I experienced a blatantly noticeable decrease in supply, and, boy, did it ever suck. 

I have never felt so depressed, defeated, and humiliated by something that was largely out of my control. For the first time, I saw Scoops trying to eat and clearly not getting enough, visibly frustrated by the lack of milk in my never-before soft and droopy breasts. It was heartbreaking. I cried. And then I stopped, because I didn't have the energy to cry. Since I couldn't cry anymore, I had to be logical. We had enough milk in the freezer for Daddy to bottle feed Scoops and keep her tummy full. I resolved to try to nurse each time Scoops was hungry, and let Daddy top her off with a bottle if she needed more. In order to minimize germ contact, Daddy brought Scoops to me for every feeding, and took her away as soon as she was done. Having to repeatedly wave good-bye to my sweet baby all day was hard on my psyche, but Scoops seemed to handle it fine since she had Daddy to distract her. The first day I couldn't keep down plain water, so I hydrated with frequent small sips of coconut water. I kept increasing my liquids as much as I could, I added in food slowly the next day (starting with broth and working up to solid food), I forced myself to sleep or at least rest in bed when I wasn't trying to eat or drink, and within a couple of days I noticed my breasts filling up again. It was pretty miraculous actually, to see how quickly they started to fill again after how flat and droopy they'd been. Essentially, I focused all my energy and efforts on getting well again, and it worked. I started feeling better, and my breasts filled back up. 

I love feeding Scoops; breastfeeding is a sweet, special bond we have, and I hope and plan to continue feeding her this way for a long time. To have that sweetness interrupted by sickness was a heartbreaking moment in time, and gave me great sympathy for moms who have to permanently stop breastfeeding because of issues outside their control. I can't imagine having the gift of breastfeeding taken away from me. For now, though, my supply has returned and we are back on track with our normal breastfeeding routine. So here's to lots of water, rest, Vitamin C, and staying healthy and milky!

Scoops is 7 Months

Yesterday, Scoops turned 7 months old. It's amazing to me how much she's changed in such a short time. She's barely been on the planet for half a year and I'm already missing her newborn cry and that silly falling reflex. Here's what she's been up to recently:

Sitting up is a piece of cake now, and Scoops will stay seated for many minutes at a time, until she feels like being mobile. She's not quite crawling yet, but she's so darn close, and keeps practicing with lots of scooting, wriggling, spinning on her belly, and grabbing and pulling herself around her crib or the floor (if she can find something sturdy to grab onto). She loves making noise by banging her hands on just about anything, and is very fond of high-fiving mommy's chest while nursing. She's babbling away and has lots to say. She's got "boob" and "mama" down, so we're just working on "daddy" now to make sure all the essentials are covered. Also, mommy swears she hears "I love you" once in a while, but that remains debatable for now. We've started incorporating some French into our vocabulary, particularly when we read Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? Unfortunately, mommy's French sucks, so Scoops will have to make up for that later when she knows what's what. She's getting stronger, and can pull herself up to sitting from a reclined position (not from lying flat on her back, thank goodness, because mommy's not ready to lower the crib yet). From sitting, she can actually pull herself up to standing sometimes. The walker she got for Easter several weeks ago has made her fearless, and she loves to practice taking steps when holding onto someone's hands. We're certainly not trying to encourage her to become an early walker, but we may not have a choice in the matter. Except for one morning when she woke up about 40 minutes early, she slept through the night (10-12 hours) 21 days in a row! Unfortunately, the past 3 nights she has been waking 1, then 2, then 3 times. So tragic. We're blaming it on that elusive first tooth, and hoping it will make its dreaded appearance soon so we can be over it.

We're excited to see what the coming weeks will bring, and look forward to sharing Scoops' development with you!

What are some of your favorite 7 month happenings? Has your baby passed this age? What are some fond memories? If your baby hasn't reached this age yet, what are you looking forward to or worried about?