Bath Time Isn't So Poopy

Scoops has never enjoyed baths. Not since the first wipe down with a warm washcloth while still in the hospital. We've tried a bubble bath in a dishpan, the Puj Flyte infant tub, and good ol' sponge baths on the changing table. She hates them all. Screams bloody murder, usually. Ironically, the day after my first post on this blog, Scoops had a major blowout. SO MUCH POOP. So much laundry. And a bath was highly necessary. Sigh. So balancing a poopy baby in one arm, I readied the bath in the sink with my spare hand, gathering towels and washcloths and wondering whether it was even worth it to put the nightgown in the laundry (I never really liked that pink elephant nightgown anyway). Finally, everything was ready, and tossing the poopy nightgown in the big bathtub (quick decision!) I braced myself for her screams as I lowered Scoops into her little sink bath. And...

Nothing. Not a peep. She made a funny face, but then just kinda spaced out and chilled in the bath. HALLELUJAH! Our first non-crying bath! OK she did cry once, for a couple seconds as I was finishing up with a clean rinse right before I took her out of the bath. It was really more like whining, and it was over almost as soon as it started. And then I realized - that was a successful day. I felt so accomplished. Seriously! If I hadn't accomplished anything else that day (amazingly, I did) I still would have felt proud about the comparative great success of that bath.

Clean, happy girl

So here's the part where we talk about success. What does it mean to be successful? How do we define success, as a person in general and specifically as a mom or dad? For me, success means feeling content or happy most of the time, loving myself, fostering meaningful relationships with the people closest to my heart, being kind whenever possible, and maintaining adequate financial stability. These first few months as a new mom, I've had to simplify how I put even those basic tenants into action. I don't have the energy for "extras" and that's ok. I've learned to accept it (although sometimes I have to re-learn acceptance on the daily). So if I don't get my floors cleaned, 3 actual meals (not snacks) made, and a couple errands outside the house accomplished all in one day, that's ok. If all I do in a day right now is hold and play with my baby, keep her fed and clean and happy, and do the same for myself, that's enough. I am enough.

The other day I actually started running through what I had accomplished before noon, and was seriously congratulating myself for pumping, cooking oatmeal, eating said oatmeal while it was still hot, washing the dishes, and getting dressed. That was enough! And it needs to be enough. If I start enumerating all the ways in which I don't measure up by traditional standards, I'll get depressed. Once I go back to work, which is very likely to happen in the near future, I'll have to readjust my own standards anyway. I hear new moms all the time asking "How are we supposed to be the mama, go to work and have a successful career, and be a good spouse?" I don't honestly have an answer for that, but I hear other moms answer "We can't. It's too much. We can do 2 at most at any given time." That, sadly, seems reasonable to me. Most days I have enough on my plate just trying to be a good mom, let alone the other roles (we can talk about the whole wife thing in another post). So when I cook and eat a hot breakfast and later successfully give my child a tear-free bath, I'm gonna celebrate the shi poop outta that. For today, that's enough. I am enough. And so are you.